when i was a kid i always looked forward to going to pop pop and mom mom's house. if my parents simply mentioned the idea of going over there i became really excited knowing that i was gonna get to see them. my grandmother could turn the simplest of meals into something that tasted like heaven, and my grandfather was a character like santa clause, given his jolly disposition, that could spin the wildest tales that would put a hush on the loudest rooms.
each time i spent time with them all of my cares would melt away. not that i had a lot to worry about back then, but i always felt like everything was right with the world when i was with them. they had a way of making you feel important, and loved in way that only a grandparent could do. pop pop would always put us on his knee and kiss us on the cheek by blowing raspberries. we would laugh so hard together that i am surprised that he never ending up with a wet leg. my grandmother was always at her best when surrounded by her grandchildren. her eyes would light up every time we walked through the door even if she knew we were coming hours in advance. their house was heaven on earth for us kids.
as i got older my grandfather remained a big part of my life. i will never forget how i was one of the coolest kids in my sunday school class just because i was his grandson. during church my grandfather would hand out hershey bars to kids that did something good, or just because. all of my friends knew him as the hershey bar guy, and when they found out that he was my grandfather, well i reached superstar status at the tender age of 8.
during that time he started teaching me important life lessons that at first i didn't understand. he had me mowing almost an acre of land and helping with other yard work for an hourly wage. while the tasks seemed menial at the time, much in same way that daniel larusso's work seemed small for mr miyagi in the karate kid, they were designed to teach me the ways of the world. he had a time sheet taped to the pantry door and i was told to fill in my hours of work each time i worked for him. i was taught how to be honest, responsible, and hard working. he then would pay me based on those hours, however he never paid me my hourly wage. he would always add a little extra to the wages on the time sheet, which i still have to this day. i would always question him on why i was being paid higher than he told me i would make per hour. he simply replied "haven't you ever heard of a raise?". that raise happened almost every day i worked for him. why can't all bosses be like my grandfather?
pop pop was the most resourceful guy i have ever known. he could fix anything with some duct tape and twine. god forbid you go out and buy a new piece of equipment. if something broke he sent one of us to the shed to chose one of the many balls of twine, all of which held several miles of string, so he could weave and elaborate web of knots that would inevitably not only fix the problem, but hold up for years to come. to this day if one of my uncles or myself have to fix something the first thing we think of is tape and twine.
though i did work a lot with my grandfather, it was not all work and no play. i will never forget the time i wanted to build a go-kart. my grandfather was too much in love with his grandchildren to ever say no, so despite the fact that he had a lot of others things to do he dropped everything he was doing over several days to help me make a 10-year-old's dream machine. he told me to design it on a piece of paper, teaching me preparation, and he would help me from there. after my plans, complete with measurements, were finished we began the hard work. he was way too nice to tell me that my design would never work, instead he helped me build the car to my specs, and even paid for all of the materials. as i am sure he knew well before we finished the go-kart never really worked all that well, but i was proud of it none the less.
when the time came for me to move out on my own, i was well prepared for whatever the world could throw at me thanks, in large part, to the teachings of my grandfather. i was patient, caring, responsible, and accountable, at least as much as a young man making his way in the world could be. it was only then that i began realize what pop pop had done for me. he was my mr. miyagi. teaching me wax on, wax off so i could defend myself against any "attack" that the world would send my way.
now the man who has taught me so much, who has loved me through thick and thin, who has been a hero to me since i was a kid, is going where none of us can follow. 32 years with him is not nearly enough. i was lucky enough to spend a week with him as he lay in a hospital bed at home. as i sat with him watching tv i began to notice the little things and saw that even at the end of his life he was still teaching me important lessons. i watched as he showed me his love for his wife of over 60 years. how his eyes lit up every time she stepped into the room no matter how bad he was feeling. how his only worry was for how we as a family would be with out him to protect us. how he did whatever he could to make his last days with us as normal as possible, while never letting us believe that he would be getting better. i watched him fight cancer with every fiber of his being, as only he could. he is the commander in chief of the family, and he would not be seen as a frail shell of himself, not if he could help it. he made sure that his bedside table was always neat and organized. he always wanted to look his best, and would change his own pajamas, despite the pain that it put him, so that he always looked presentable, and made every effort to joke with his visitors. one morning after it snowed he called me in to his room to get him a cup of coffee and joked with me that he would take me to shanks park so we could go sledding together, priceless.
during that week i was there he was more concerned about how i was seeing him than about his own health. even though i was honored to spend that time with him and was concerned about how he was feeling, he made every attempt to make sure i was not freaked out, or scared in any way. pop pop nothing i could have seen would have scared me. i just wanted to spend time with you, create another memory, and say goodbye.
so how do we say goodbye and honor the man that has touched us so deeply. as far as i can tell, by keeping his teachings alive. for me that means that my children, when i have them, will know everything about their great grandfather. they will know all of his lawn care techniques, how to fix anything with tape and twine, and most importantly how to be passionate about family. above all that was the most important thing to my grandfather; his family. though we will miss him he will always be alive and well in each one of us.
i am honored to call frank jones sr. pop pop! i will never forget anything he has taught me, or any of the laughs we have had together. if i know him he will continue to bring laughs in heaven. the first thing he will do is try to sell jesus a new pair of herman survivor boots to replace the old worn out sandals he has been wearing, and when he is told that the sandals are just fine i am sure he will offer him a hershey bar to help the sale along. then i am pretty sure he will try to plant some forsythia bushes outside of the pearly gates claiming that it will help to keep the dust down. and then he will tell the same story to everyone about a million times, and each time the story will get just a little bit better. that's my grandpa.
thank you for everything you taught me. i love you and will always treasure our time together.
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